i don’t just want a boyfriend/girlfriend i want someone who laughs into kisses and stays in bed an extra hour with me every morning and buys me chinese food when i’m on my period and cries in front of me and lets me cry in front of them and someone i can take quiet baths with or have shower fights with and someone i can just be completely me around and i dont care how corny it sounds i just wanna find a soul mate

thetowndrugdealer:

When i was in grade 10 the whole school was in the cafeteria and the teachers were talking on the microphone and once it was done everyone was talking to each other waiting for the bell to ring so i signaled the teacher to pass me the microphone and all i said was “anal cavities” and you should have seen the regret in the teachers eyes when those words echoed across the cafeteria

snazziest:

people who dont flush the toilet must be eliminated

cokeflow:

Maybe I am maybelline 

guy:

tell someone to look and they’ll ignore you. but tell someone not to look and they’ll turn their head faster than it takes a straight white boy to ask for nudes during 21 questions

thatfuckingcrowv2:

orlandobloomers:

instead of sending me nudes you can send me 

  • pics of you smiling with ur fave stuffed animal
  • pics of you smiling with ur mom 
  • pics of plants
  • pics of ur dog
  • pics of silly lookin bugs that u find 

send me the nudes while this geek eats a flower

couple-of-dumbasses:

leviisacutelittleshit:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

beggars-opera:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD

easy there henry

whos henry what thef uck?

*faint laughter from Britian*

*history teachers crying*

puppymother:

in grade 11 i was on the phone w this boy i wanted and i owed him a favour or something so i was like “it can be anything you want” and he was like “anything?” and im like ya thats what i fuckin said and he goes “can you explain to me how a fridge works? like how does it stay cold”

chasingtrophywhitetails:

Does anyone else reply to a text mentally but not physically then forgets to actually reply all together or is that just me

lovesolitudes:

i actually feed on intelligence

i love it when people know a lot about a lot of things

about music, films, religion, beliefs, history

i love listening to peoples opinions 

i love big words

i want to suck in all these smart things like a sponge

He’ll grab your waist and whisper in your ear but six months later you’ll find yourself drunk texting him that you miss him and he won’t respond.
(via slutstatus)

nuditea:

got no problem with watching a full season of tv in one sitting but when it comes time to pick a movie im like “am i really ready to pay attention to something for two hours”